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::.We expect too much of ourselves and each other...
Some men and women are motivated by what Dr. Polston calls the "Superman/Superwoman Complex." Does this sound like you and your spouse? Do you take on too much responsibility and expect impossible feats from your loved ones?
If you expect too much from yourself and others, you may have trouble balancing the demands of job, family, and home and experience escalating frustration, resentment, and dissatisfaction when it comes to handling household affairs. Here are some tips to solve two common household scenarios.
1. My Spouse Expects Too Much
Does your husband expect you to have a full or part-time career, be a great cook and impeccable housekeeper, along with being a sex goddess? Does your wife expect you to be a full-time corporate warrior, "Father Knows Best," and a part-time housekeeper and caregiver? These common (and unrealistic) expectations can make you feel pressured, inadequate, and alienated and lead to anger and communication breakdowns. Don't worry--you can improve this situation.
Do you feel too stressed to do any of your jobs well? Stress may lead you to whining, anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. Your spouse might also feel overwhelmed by your negativity. Have faith--there's an answer.
The Solution
- Recognize your worth: Stop your defeatist thinking and congratulate yourself for being as competent as you are. Don't be so hard on yourself!
- Relax: Alone or with your spouse, identify ways to relax before you completely fall apart. For example, instead of obsessing or whining to your spouse, schedule a half-hour each day to relax with him or her. Take a bath, take a walk, cuddle on the couch, or sit in the garden.
2. I Can't Handle My Jobs--I'm So Stressed!
Do you feel too stressed to do any of your jobs well? Stress may lead you to whining, anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. Your spouse might also feel overwhelmed by your negativity. Have faith--there's an answer.
The Solution
- Recognize your worth: Stop your defeatist thinking and congratulate yourself for being as competent as you are. Don't be so hard on yourself!
- Relax: Alone or with your spouse, identify ways to relax before you completely fall apart. For example, instead of obsessing or whining to your spouse, schedule a half-hour each day to relax with him or her. Take a bath, take a walk, cuddle on the couch, or sit in the garden.
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