::.We are locked in a power struggle over the children's education and behavior...
Power struggles over the children's education and behavior can cause numerous areas of disagreement, escalating tensions, and fears about the future. Cooperation and collaboration can help you resolve this conflict.
Solutions
Use these tips to help end the power struggle and restore peace:
- Determine your boundaries: Defining your boundaries is essential for coping with a situation as complex as this, says Dr. Polston. "First, if you have step-children, establish who is the primary decision maker," she says. "You may want to consider how willing you are to negotiate. Think about how to communicate your needs to your spouse."
- Clear your head: Clarify your thoughts and consider putting your concerns in writing before scheduling a time to talk about the issue.
- Take your time: Work towards conflict resolution by discussing disagreement areas one at a time--resolve each item in an unhurried manner. You should each have a chance to state your point of view of the problem without being interrupted.
- Communicate carefully: Choose your words deliberately; watch your tone of voice; try to be neutral. Keep your body language relaxed.
- Propose solutions: Request a change; propose a possible solution; invite your spouse to suggest solutions as well. If you can't agree, try to reach a working compromise, for example, "I accept what you say on one condition," then name the condition in a neutral tone of voice.
- Meet again: If compromise is tough to achieve during your session, take a time out, Dr. Polston advises, and try again another day. "We need to feel safe enough to know that not everything is solvable immediately," she says. "By admitting this to each other, you create a safety zone in your marriage."
