One of us wants to spend more time with his or her parents than the other does.
When one of you prefers to spend more quality time with parents than the other, you may unleash feelings of jealousy that can lead to tension and arguments. You need to resolve conflicts like these before they grow too large and troubling. First, agree that the problem needs to be resolved. Then, work towards conflict resolution in a polite and fair manner.
Solutions
Remember these tips when you meet to resolve your conflict:
- Take your time: Discuss one area of disagreement at a time; try to resolve it before moving on to another issue. Clarify each area of disagreement.
- Communicate carefully: Both of you should state your view of the problem without interruption. Be careful what you say; watch your tone of voice; try to be neutral.
- Propose solutions: Request a change; propose a possible solution. If you've yet to agree, let the other propose something. Reach a working compromise: "I accept what you say on the following condition..."
- Meet again: If you cannot agree, take a time out. Instant resolution is rare, so relax. "We need to feel safe enough to know that not everything is solvable immediately," says Dr. Polston. If at first, second, or third you don't succeed, try and try again.
