::.One partner  spends more than the other...

An imbalance in spending habits can create financial insecurity for both partners, along with resentment, anger, loss of trust, and anxiety. This is an extremely common marital problem, Dr. Polston observes.

Solutions
Try these tips to help you and your partner resolve the problem of spending  imbalance:

• Acknowledge the problem: You and your partner must agree that the spending imbalance is indeed an issue in your marriage.

 

• Work together: Once you've identified and agreed you have a joint problem, stay calm and team up to solve it. "Couples have to see themselves as collaborators," says Dr. Polston.  "There is no winner or loser here." Remember: everything is open for negotiation. Pick a good time to have your discussion, such as when you're  both well-rested.

 

• Explore the past: Consider  discussing how money was handled in your families of origin--this might help  explain the root of the over-spending behavior. Such a discussion might also help you defuse volatile emotions and facilitate joint problem-solving.

 

• Discuss the future: Define your future lifestyle goals, including retirement plans. This may help the over-spending partner understand the value of fiscal restraint.
   

 

• Take notes: Take notes on lifestyle goals. List reasons why it's a good idea to live within your means. Look at your checkbook and write down the absolutely necessary expenditures  that make up the monthly budget. Review your credit card bills from the past few months and note where unnecessary expenditures were made.

 

• Create a budget: Draw up a budget for both of you--not just the overspending partner--and stick to it. "Remember, you are a team," says Dr. Polston. "Do budgeting. Who will do what?  Pass around power and control. Who will be in charge of certain areas?"