::.One of us takes  on more fiscal responsibility than the other...

When one partner in the marriage is more fiscally responsible than the other,  you may find yourself in a power struggle with your spouse and be forced to deal with feelings of alienation, hostility, and loss of trust.

Solutions
Approach this problem in a non-blaming way. "The problem is the problem, not the person," says Dr. Polston. Collaborate through communication, negotiation, and conflict resolution. Here's how:

• Work as a team: Realize everything is up for negotiation. If the controlling spouse disagrees with  this concept, remind your spouse that you're a team. Propose sharing financial  information and responsibilities--it's a good idea for you (and any children  you may have) to make joint decisions.

 

• Remain calm: If your spouse  continues to insist on controlling the finances, remain calm and refuse to  take it personally. Point out that keeping financial details private could be placing you (and any children you may have) at risk for financial problems in  the future. Agree to listen to each other without interrupting.

 

• Propose solutions: Propose a solution about sharing fiscal responsibilities. If it is rejected by the  controlling spouse, ask your spouse to propose something. Discuss how and why sharing these duties can help your marriage. If you don't agree, let the other  propose an alternative. If you reach a working compromise, write it down, and sign it.

 

• Meet again: If you can't reach  a consensus, schedule another time to meet. Keep the dialogue open until you reach a working compromise.