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::.My partner refuses to see or hear who I truly am...
Do you feel that your partner refuses to know the real you? This can keep you feeling stuck, misunderstood, and insecure. It can also blind you to the existence of other problems in your marriage.
The Solution
Get to know yourself: Stop blaming your partner--wake up and look at yourself. "Some people who complain they're not being seen or heard are demanding to be perceived how they imagine themselves to be, rather than the way they really are," says Dr. Schnarch.
Accept the true you: In midlife marriages, it's harder to maintain the "persona" of how you'd like to be; you get unmasked and seen, warts and all. So relax and accept your faults: this may help you and your partner reach a new understanding and intimacy. It might even make it easier for your partner to accept his or her own faults. Truly accepting your faults makes you less complacent and better able to change them.
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