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::.I'm afraid my partner will find out who I really am...
If you fear your partner will discover the true you, then you may really fear intimacy or rejection. If you are not truly known by your partner, this will inevitably limit sexual and emotional intimacy. Fear of being revealed may also foster insecurity and the feeling that you're drifting apart.
The Solution
Reveal yourself: It's time to learn how to tolerate what Dr. Schnarch calls "truly being known." Start by ditching the fantasy that intimacy makes people feel safe and secure--rather, intimacy challenges who you are and drives every self-rejection to the surface, notes Dr. Schnarch.
Accept yourself: True intimacy can make you very uncomfortable, but that's part of the deal. Realize that comfort and security comes after you accept your faults, after you learn to tolerate exposing your dark parts, and "after you know that your partner really knows you," says Dr. Schnarch.
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