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::.My partner accuses me of failing to see or know him/her...
Does your partner accuse you of not truly understanding him or her? This can create friction and make one or both of you feel stuck, misunderstood, distant, or insecure.
The Solution
Get to know yourself: Calmly explain to your partner Dr. Schnarch's observation that "Some people who complain they're not being seen or heard are demanding to be perceived how they imagine themselves to be, rather than the way they really are."
Embrace the truth: At the outset of a relationship, notes Dr. Schnarch, "It's wonderful as you and your partner start to know each other. How ironic, then, that more of the same can make partners want to run for cover. Common complaints about drifting apart often result from running away from ourselves or each other."
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