::.Our  sex lacks an erotic charge...

Couples who say that their sex lacks an erotic charge usually find their sexual relationship unsatisfactory. This may lead to sexual boredom, anxieties, resentments, and distractions, which can make sex  a battleground.

The  Solution 

• Take charge: This  situation can be vastly improved by taking responsibility for  developing your erotic potential. Midlife sex is often not very erotic, says Dr. Schnarch, because people are hesitant to "push their sexual growth edge." This can feel scary, Dr. Schnarch acknowledges, because people fear they may be rejected if they share a previously undisclosed aspect of their erotic likes.  
   

• Experiment: Voicing a need for erotic experimentation may also produce anxiety because, as  Dr. Schnarch notes, "It challenges you to validate that part of your own eroticism." You can keep eroticism growing and alive by  enlisting your partner's aid in developing your sexual growth edge.  "It's your job to do," says Dr. Schnarch. "Don't make your partner  responsible for putting your insecurities to rest."
   

What is Premature Ejaculation?

What happens?

The man ejaculates during love play with a partner just before or  shortly after penetration. Sometimes also experienced during  masturbation.

Why does it happen?

Premature ejaculation is nearly always caused by psychological concerns, but should be checked out by a GP as physical causes include diabetes, a tight foreskin and other disorders of the nervous system.

Psychological causes include anxiety, nerves with a first/new partner, lack of self-esteem and guilt (e.g.: during an affair).

Can I help stop it?

Common self-help methods for premature ejaculation often include mentally naming all the players in a football team or thinking of  something boring to distract from the high level of arousal!

Unfortunately, this often distracts from the intimacy of lovemaking  causing the man to feel disassociated from the enjoyment of sex.

Some simple remedies include making sure that you are free of anxiety  during lovemaking and teaching yourself to recognize the moment just before you think you might ejaculate (often called by therapists 'the moment of inevitability').

Men with premature ejaculation often find this difficult to identify and it is this that leads to 'coming' too quickly.

Treatments

Treatment of premature ejaculation by psychosexual therapy has an  extremely high success rate.

If your premature ejaculation is caused by a physical problem, your  GP can recommend appropriate treatments, which may include medical  relaxants.

:::Marriage Enhancer
:::We have health concerns
:::Our sex lacks an erotic charge
:::My partner and I are often emotionally distant during sex
:::Our sex feels anxious, rushed, or boring