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::.My partner and I rarely look at each other when we have sex...
If you never engage in prolonged eye contact, your intimacy may suffer, leading to impersonal sex and emotional alienation.
The Solution
Look at each other: Strive for sustained intimacy before, during, and after sex. Begin by having enough lighting in the room so that you can easily see and be seen. Lying in bed, look into each other's eyes. Dr. Schnarch advises holding off on touching each other's genitals because "a) it's often a distraction from intimate connection, and b) when your genitals respond you can fool yourself into thinking you're intimate, when in fact you're not."
Open your eyes: Once you start to feel at ease looking at each other, try having sex with your eyes open. Spend time gazing into each other's eyes rather than retreating behind closed lids or watching your and your partner's bodies. With practice, you can eventually share eyes-open orgasms. "Having an orgasm while you and your partner are looking into each other is a powerful intimacy to share," says Dr. Schnarch.
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